Today i thought

the way many, and i mean so many from our generation are so attracted to the y2k aesthetic and living is because even though gen-z was born in the right generation we simply missed the chance to live it.

stylistically y2k had more self expression in contrast to today's fast fashion that everyone seem to follow, even though there was fast fashion back then, there was more self-reflected fashion and presentation. we as a generation grew up looking at everyone having their own self expression. while being too young to form our own perception of one's own aesthetic, by the time we grew up it is a term of boomers.

with the resurgance of y2k aesthetic by primarily musicians and models, the gen-alpha has caught up and are more appreciative of the aesthetic. it is a time that will never return, as gen-z and gen-alpha looks at them, it is an easier time of the past. while they stay unaware of the economic crash of those years they adapt those aesthetics right where it all started, during another economic crash. irony much?

i feel like i have been late to everything all my life. is it because i held back while everyone moved forward? what is it that is holding me back?

i feel like i discover and enjoy things much later than everyone else. even this blog i made is late to launch nearly by a month. i watch so many movies later than everyone sometimes because i dont wanna get caught in the 'hype' and sometimes i just dont wanna watch it alone. i keep waiting and someone comes along the way to experience it with me. am i waiting for a motivator or a companion?

i just dont have the energy immediately needed for something. i keep thinking i will make myself better but i just make myself sad thinking about everything. yet, sometimes i console my heart by saying it is fine, even if i am late
because "better late than never". am i right?

everytime i feel like there is no meaning to life and future, one thing that hold me like a child in a blanket is art it could be a song, a painting or a film. i am always amazed and overwhelmned by how much art there is in the world.

there are so many books to read and so many paintings to see, in current climate of the world i might not ever see so many masterpieces in person, but so many historical and modern art pieces and paintings move everyone in such a profound manner it is astonishing to comprehend.

are we attracted to the art as itself or the emotions these arts evoke in us? do i love the song because of the singer and their voice or am i addicted to the lyrics and their meaning? did every art i ever consumed evoke a feeling in me? is art only considered as such if it makes us feel something? is there anything as 'boring' art?
are we all artists if we have ever evoked some feeling in someone? are we artists at all if no one has ever felt anything while looking at something we made??
am i spiraling?
i like arts, all kinds of arts, i even consider what i am doing with coding an art, i am making something, and there are results and there is a progress, thats art to me. ♡